Wednesday, February 27, 2008

and with that

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,
"I must tell you all something.
We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back.
"I'm so tired of chardonnay."

Monday, February 25, 2008

Sunday, February 17, 2008

all about nowt

Big Questions

What people are asking this week

Whose relationship split has brought back
the rumours that their union was sparked
by a contract brokered by their
publicists who were keen to dampen down
speculation about both celebrities'
private lives?

What's wrong with Britain? The publicly voted short-
list for “Celebrity Mum of the Year” includes Mel B,
Posh, Heather Mills, Katie Price and Kate Garraway.

Food for thought

Like lambs to the slaughter

Waitrose is making a film on an Oxfordshire
farm to show to its shareholders meeting,
to confirm that the firm's farming and produce
is all lovely and ethical. The farm is indeed
everything they say it is. Wonder if they'll
mention that it is owned by Lord Sainsbury.

A woman comes home on Valentine's Day
with a duck under her arm.
Her husband meets her at the door.
She says "This is the pig I'm shagging".

"That's not a pig, it's a duck," he replies.

"I was talking to the duck."