Sunday, July 02, 2006

racist? moi?

Now to prove we are free of racism, the following jokes do not include any racial minorities, jews, martians or other whiny multiculturalists. Underground is not responsible for anything in this post, none of it is original!
These jokes should be considered clean and in good taste, we hope. If you are offended, grow up and take it like a man, or go watch Sesame Street.......

You must use the appropriate accent for added effect.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Iff it was a Gerrrman light bulb it vouldd nott neeeed to be replassst.

How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Heeey bebe, if the lights are out, wee do not want dem them on anyway, eeeeh.(wink, wink)

How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
51. One to hold, and fifty to turn the house.

How many Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, who can affford a light bulb?

How many gay white guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
5. One to screw it in, and four to say, "Ohhh fabulouth, ohhh thimply fabulouth."

How many Canadians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Are light bulbs a federal issue? Or provincial? We should set up a Royal Commission. Would it offend anyone if we take a position? Have there been any Human Rights Commission rulings on this issue? These are white light bulbs. Shouldn’t there be some blue ones and brown ones to show our support for our multicultural heritage? Have any rabbits been subject to testing from these light bulbs? We should talk to our lawyer first.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1. but the half time show is something else !!!

over to you people; I am sure you have some additions to list little list for us?

6 comments:

Jayne said...

I'm so glad you did this entry. I'm getting a tad peeved with all the politically correct people who do nothing but bitch & moan.
Love the accents!

Axonsax said...

lol yea me too I can't stand the "politically correct" mafia - we must make a stand against it! i migt start a campaign! now let me think, what could we call it.........

Axonsax said...

You do have to be careful though Jin.

I offended someone the other day:
I was in a pub and told the following joke:

What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?

Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.

Once the guffawing of my friends had died down, I became aware of a man on the other side of the bar, looking quite choked and talking to the landlord. The landlord came over to me and told me that the gentleman at the bar had recently lost his son and that my joke had offended him. I thought I should apologise. I approached the gentleman at the bar and offered my condolences for his loss and my apologies if my joke had upset him. He said that the joke had only got to him because his son was an epileptic and it was a fit which killed him.

I wondered as to how a fit could actually kill someone and the man said that his son had slipped and hit his head and that was what had killed him. I asked where his son had slipped and the man said it was in the bath. Well, I realised then how inappropriate my joke had been in the circumstances.

"Did your son hit his head on a tap then?" I asked.

"No," replied the man; "he choked on one of my socks".

Jayne said...

Blinding...........bloody blinding! Having read the first bit of the joke, I had to larf, even tho my mum suffers from epilepsy. People have gotta lighten up & I shall put the sludge into action & try & think up a name for the campaign!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely humorous; that in spite of the fact I take meds to control the abnormal (neuronal) electrical activity in my head; epilepsy per se :-) These meds do help after all :-) LOL :-) Cheers

Tainted Female said...

LOL...

The Canadian one WAS SO ACCURATE! LOL!

And the politically correct are more distorted than the rest of un imho...